Fondling the Clitoris of the Goddess

I've read a few years back that people love the only way they know how. And as I look into what has happened in my life as to how I love, this proves to be real. The first time, I was very scared of love, fearing rejection, being possessive and controlling. I would be so controlling even as to manipulate, lie and cheat to get what I wanted, which is basically, the girl I loved. But now I realize that that is not how love should be. There can never be love unless one is free to love and open to love- a mutuality of giving and receiving. Note: receiving, not taking. What's the difference? Recieving has the consent of the giver, while taking comes in many forms: emotional blackmail, emotional or physical abuse, isolation and many others. In these situation when you take, you rip the soul of the one you love and her growth is stunted by the growing dependence on you. Taking therefore is a form of rape. This is sick. How could you love a person who cannot be herself when she's with you? She would be a zombie child with a muted voice and a torn soul. It is said: "Love is the child of Liberty." In love, one should be free.

The next few times I thought I was in love was triggered by the feeling of being happiest. Now I must say that if two people are in love with each other, they are sure to be happiest with eachother. Right? Well yes, perhaps this would be true, for some time. But happiness fades and what sets in is the cold chains of commitment and indifference. You see, happiness is actually in the moment. It comes from what happens; HAPPINess, HAPPEN? hehe so what? Here's what. What if happiness a.k.a happiest is lost, how can one revive and revitalize the relationship? Here's how: find, in lieu of happiness, joy.

Joy is a perpetual sense of peace and conentment. This can only be attained, I believe, through spirituality and identification with God. In the Bible, this would be a gift of the Holy Spirit, and unless the Holy Spirit is within us, there could never be any real joy in our lives, evidenced by the lack of consistency in our loving our beloved. Because without this joy, we are just actually in a rollercoaster ride of happiest, happy, I don't know, miserable, empty, then back to happiest again. A cycle, which may work, but as I have experienced, there is a better way.

Now, as I take all this in, and evaluate my experiences, I have to say that nothing can create in me the joy that is needed in loving someone than to be able to receive the flow of love from God. Here's why: I believe that for one to see the beauty in others, one should first see the beauty and miracle of God. Second, He should then be able to see the beauty and the miracle of and in himself. Then, and finally, He should see the beauty and miacle of and in his beloved. See, love is the acknowledgement of the beauty and the miracle of the beloved. It is looking into her eyes and seeing the magnificence, miracle, and brillance of God through and within her. In this regard, it is identifying her with the Divine: seeing for yourself the divinity of your beloved. In essence, when you love someone, she is a Goddess.

How you would woo a Goddess is how you should treat the one you love. With reverence. With happiness and joy. With overwhelming desire merged with the same amount of compassion and caution. Because the Goddess doesn't let anyone fondle her clitoris. He should be worthy. He should be God.

Loving someone is seeing your equal, you partner, the yin to your yang. And in this balance, love is hope and faith is courage. Equality in love is the two angels in the Ark of the Covenant, in the Holy of Holies, gazing at each other in mutual and perpetual rapture.

Poem: Walking to See

If you want to seek God,
then seek Him only.

You will never

see if you

close your eyes. Open

your heart's eyes and

become

blind of the world,

and a seer

of your soul

and in that moment when

there is peace

and overflowing

joy

it is then

that there can be no one

else left but Him,

Knock.
the Door opens.

Seek.

He will show you

His face:

Beaming with

all the love in the universe.
And you will

Ask.

and you will receive-

grace, pure and holy grace.

_____________________________

"for we walk by faith, not by sight".

2 Corinthians 5:7

Song: Your Song

My gift is my song
And this one's for you
And you can tell everybody
That this is your song
It maybe quite simple
But now that it's done
Hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

Sat on the roof
And I kicked off the moss
Well some of the verses well
They got me quite cross
But the sun's been kind
While I wrote this song
It's for people like you that
Keep it turned on

So excuse me for forgetting
But these things I do
You see I've forgotten
If they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is well I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

[Allesandro- opera]

And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple
But now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is now you're in the world
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you're in the world

My Heart's Regret

The Yogi:

The past is no longer, the future is not yet, and the present is as the blink of an eye.

The Lover:

The past is manifested in the present in the living reality of memory; The future is in the palpable presence of yearning; and the present is in the invitation of the moment.
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My Heart's regret
is because it was
not there.
When we met,
I was heartless.
Now my heart screams
to meet you.
Yearns
to know you.

To know your
kindness,
the heat of your kisses,
and the intensity of
the moment when
we are together.
I hope
beyond hope that
you may see my heart
beating again.
This time, for
no one but you.
Now, as we have never
been---
This tardy heart
that I have
seeks for a chance
to go back;
hug you tight, and
never let you go.
But since what was
can never be what is:
I will be waiting for a
tomorrow, where past
and present meet,
where God has
prepared for us.
Until that day comes
to pass,
I will purge my heart
and keep it pure, so
that I will not
take you for granted.
To not make you
suffer my rantings
and insecurities; so
that we may live!
Alive,
aroused,
and ablaze.
your fire has set
my soul on a passionate
longing for you;
for the time
we'll get to meet
again- now
with our hearts
in place,
I'll tell you
I love you.

For now, in
hopeful contrition
I lay still.
Dreaming of us
renewed, reunited, and
reignited.
Let it be so.
In Christ I entrust
my plea.
Let angels come
down and guard
our hearts. And for
my hopeful tomorrow,
Let truth begin this
newfound chance.
Let there be
a celebration in our hearts
until that day.

Let the storms in our
lives take us home. Amen.

Story: The Baobab Tree

The day is hot, the air was thick, the ground is hard and the mouth was dry. The hare is making his way home when he comes across the baobab tree.

"Baobab tree," he calls out, "You are old and wise and generous. Please let me rest in your shade."

The tree answered, "Hare, your call is true, come sit in my shade."

The hare sits and thanks the Baobab tree. But the air is still thick and the ground is still hard and the mouth still dry. The hare calls once again,

"Baobab tree you are old and wise and generous, allow me to drink from your sap."

And the Baobab says, "Hare, your call is true, please drink from my sap." The hare drinks from the sap, is refreshed, and thanks the Baobab tree.

Some time goes by and the hare calls once more,

"Baobab tree, you are old and wise and generous, won't you allow me to enter your heart?"

And the tree answers, "Hare your call is true, come enter my heart."

The tree opens her heart and the hare enters.

Inside he sees unimaginable beauty, lights of all colors, sparkling dew drops, and precious stones everywhere onyx and emerald, diamond and sapphires all glittering and glowing. The hare calls to the Baobab,

"You are old and wise and generous, wont you allow me to take one of your stones to my wife as a present?"

The tree answers, "Your call is true, won't you take one of my stones?" The hare thankfully takes a single crystal, steps out and the heart closes behind him.

Now the hare takes the stone to his wife, who places it on a chain around her neck and walks around town, showing it to all. But she shows it especially to the wife of the hyena, for she knows that the hyena and his wife will be the most jealous.

That night, the wife of the hyena says to her husband, "Go, get me a stone from the heart of the baobab tree."

The next morning, the air is thick, the sun is hot and the ground is hard. The hyena comes to the Baobab tree and says, "You are old and rich and very beautiful let me enter your heart."

The Baobab tree opens her heart. The hyena enters and sees lights of many colors, sparkling dew, and precious stones. And the hyena starts to grab a diamond, a sapphire, a ruby. He grabs more and more, frantic with greed. He is out of control, taking from every corner of the Baobab's heart.

The tree trembling and terrified calls out to him, but the hyena can not hear her. So with great shudder the Baobab closes her heart, trapping the hyena inside. The hyena dies.

From that day on, the Baobab tree has not been willing to open her heart to anyone, even to those whose call is true.

__________________________
____________________

Is there a hyena in your heart?? I have realized that sometimes we fail to realize that we haven't really learned to let go of the past, yet we act as if we do, even though deep inside we are still history's prisoners. I was like this, but today I finally have been set free. It is truly wonderful how God directs our life and points us toward the people who really matters who really means most to us. This is an answered prayer. I asked God for clarity and now, be it by destiny or pure cosmic coincidence, the clarity I have is a miraculous thing to behold. Now, the only thing that's left is walking in faith that God works with the purest of intentions filled with His love, and that what He has started, He will see through til the end. Amen.

Happy day! Faith is truly looking back at the Cross of Jesus. :D